A lot of times when divorce is mentioned in a marriage, it may only be the one party wanting the divorce. The other person may want to do everything they can to keep the marriage going. Many times this is the case and if the one person does all the things necessary and allows their spouse some time they may need to think about things and get the motivation back to re-engage in their marriage, chances are their marriage may get back on track. Keep reading to get an idea on how to stop a divorce from happening.
Being in a marriage you desperately want to save and knowing your spouse is ready to call it quits, is one those situations I wouldn’t wish for anyone. It is gut-wrenching! If you’ve found yourself if that very place, know you aren’t alone. Many have walked this path before you and despite what you may think at the moment, there can be hope for a relationship like yours. But first, you have to stop the divorce.
Focus On Your Inner Self
Most marriages that are rescued from divorce involve at least one of the parties’ focusing on their inner self so by figuring out how you have been in the relationship can be a huge help. People get so busy trying to change their spouse rather than looking at themselves and their own faults. What happens there is when the spouse isn’t acting the way the person wants them to act the “fixer” ends up exhausted and just wants out.
If your spouse is wanting out of the marriage, you need to wisely discern the circumstances so you can choose an appropriate response. Your response is important. Sometimes people’s expectations for their spouse is unrealistic. When expectations are too high or unrealistic, disappointment will always be there. So if you can find out the real issue without causing more tension that could give you some insight on what you should be working on.
Other times a spouse can become self absorbed which of course would make things hard to work on. If your spouse has fallen into that self-absorption trap that seems to be a growing problem in our society, there may be things you need to figure out even more about yourself. The key factor is to determine whether or not your spouse is usually characterized by this level of selfishness. If they are, you may want to spend your time working with someone to figure out why you are drawn to people who take so much from you and give so little in return.
If it seems like your loving spouse has lost their mind and is acting incredibly different than before, you want to be very intentional with how you respond. Avoiding certain behaviors (for instance, begging them to stay) is as equally important as doing the right things – remaining kind and loving but firm, setting boundaries that protect you and the relationship, and allowing them to suffer whatever consequences come from the decisions they make.
If you don’t like conflict, this may be difficult for you because it may make your spouse uncomfortable. You have to confront your spouse without attacking them with the wrong words and without blame. Rather than saying,” you did this” or “what about me?” try using words from your heart and let your partner know when this happened IT made you feel this way, let your partner know how much you love them.